Friday, July 21, 2017

Dark Chocolate Bundt Cake


Common courtesy is dying a slow, painful death.

How difficult is it to RSVP to an invitation? Apparently it's harder than I thought.

Do you think perhaps folks simply do not understand what RSVP means? After all, not only is it French, it's also an acronym. Only, if only I lived in a country that spoke French as a second language (I do) or had some sort of machine that allows one to search up information (there is), it would be revolutionary.

RSVP. Répondez s'il vous plaît. In English? Please respond.

Birthday parties have become so stressful to me for that reason alone. I can leave a home phone number, cell number and three email addresses and it's crickets on all formats. How am I supposed to know how many goodie bags to make if you don't respond? Do I buy an ice cream cake because two of the children invited have a gluten allergy or can I make a homemade 10-inch round and finally have a legit reason to splurge on some new baking tins for fear that my regular and very loved tins have nut residue? Do I purchase those extra pack of plates, cups, and cutlery? Do I buy a small fruit tray or spring for the extra large party platter because I know your child will only eat fruit? I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T REPLIED TO OUR INVITE. I'm now even more stressed because you are not the only one that has done this. The party is on Saturday; it's now Thursday and I'm still waiting on two others that haven't replied despite the fact the RSVP deadline was last Sunday. Please don't make me chase you down to ask. It's embarrassing for the both of us and my time is just as valuable as yours. I don't want to be made out to look like an asshole in front of the other parents if your child shows up and I have nothing for them. It makes me look irresponsible when nothing could be further from the truth.


We have also endured lost in translations situations in the past. I've had a few parents emphatically and defensively let me know that, "You've sent an invite so you obviously wanted my child there!" Yes, this is true, but again, this brings me back to my original argument. I need to know if they will be attending for aforementioned reasons.

I would, however, like to give a warm shout out to those parents that do reply, but ask if their younger child can also attend; DOUBLE PRIZES when it's more than one child. How about some exploding confetti for those that don't even bother to ask, but show up with them and actually encourage them to join in the festivities, especially when it's at a facility that charges an extra $30 per child. You see, my child - the birthday child - has 12 friends they really wanted to invite, but was only allowed to invite eight. That means four friends did not make the cut, prompting emotional crying on all fronts. My child was visibly upset for several days that they had to painfully choose who got to come and who could not. BUT PLEASE, by all means, have your younger child join us. Oh, what's that? Don't offer to pay the difference? NO PROBLEM. I'll just pluck it off the money tree in my backyard that is multiplying by the second. I LOVE YOU MOST OF ALL.


So the next time you have the ladyballs to tell your child the reason they cannot have eat anything I'm serving is because I didn't order the gluten-free, lactose-free pizza or sugar-free cake free of Dye #1, #5, #10, or #13439 because I'm (ME) the forgetful mommy, you may want to refresh your list of piss poor excuses or perhaps tell them truth. Chances are, when you dropped them off and they had a fit, I told them the real reason.

I've made a cake to soothe my soul that is chock full of dairy, eggs, refined sugar, and gluten. Everything in moderation, friends. This bundt cake is sinfully delicious. The dark cocoa powder gives this cake the rich colour while lending a gentle hand of toning down the sweetness. I've added chocolate glaze with mini chocolate chips and sprinkles because I deserve it even if it does contradict what I just said.

I may have even saved a party horn to toot when I feel the need to.

It's my party and I'll do what I want to.



DARK CHOCOLATE BUNDT CAKE

2 cups all purpose flour
1½ teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 cup black cocoa powder, sifted
1 cup boiling water
6 ounces quality dark chocolate, coarsely chopped
1¼ cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
5 large eggs, at room temperature
1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
1¼ cup sour cream (2% or higher fat content is best)
1 cup milk chocolate chips, optional

Chocolate Glaze
6 ounces quality dark chocolate
½ cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 tablespoon light corn syrup

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Prepare a bundt pan by lightly spraying inner surface with a non-stick spray, preferably one that has the addition of flour in it. If you do not have such spray or cannot find it in your area, generously apply butter or solid vegetable shortening and evenly coat with flour, removing any excess flour.

To make cake:

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.

In a separate mixing bowl, whisk together cocoa powder and boiling water. Whisk gently but quickly until incorporated. Add in chopped dark chocolate. Allow to stand for two minutes and gently whisk until chocolate is completely melted. Set aside.

In another large mixing bowl, beat together butter, brown, and granulated sugars until light and creamy. Add in eggs, one at a time, and beat well between additions. Once fully incorporated, add in chocolate mixture. Add in flour mixture, alternating with sour cream, only mixing until incorporated. Scrape down the bowl as needed. Once all ingredients are fully incorporated, pour into prepared bundt pan.

Bake for 50-60 minutes, checking as early as 45 minutes. Cake is done when a skewer inserted comes out clean or with a few moist crumbs. Remove from oven and allow to stand for 10 minutes before inverting onto a wire rack to cool.

To make glaze:

In a saucepan over medium low heat, melt chocolate, butter and corn syrup. Once all ingredients are nicely combined and warmed through, remove from heat. Do not allow to boil. Whisk and generously pour over top of cake. Embellish with mini chocolate chips, chopped nuts, sprinkles, toasted coconut or how you see fit if so desired.

If you do not wish to make glaze, dust with powdered sugar for visual effect before cutting and serving.

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25 Comments »

25 Responses to “Dark Chocolate Bundt Cake”

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. LOved this post. So true about people RSVP ing... it drives me bonkers!!!! Enjoy your cake, you deserve it

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    1. Thank you, Betty! I think this blog post was a long time coming.....Xo

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  3. This post made me so happy! I've been saying this for years to anyone that will listen to me. It's so rude! Thank you for saying what I've been trying to.

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  4. OH Jenny. Yes Yes Yes Yes YES!! Yes to the cake and YES TO THE POST!! So good to have you back. I've so missed your posts!

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    1. It's good to be back! Thank you, Kate! Xo

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  5. Can I use regular or dutch-processed cocoa instead of black cocoa?

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    1. Hi Joy! Yes, you can absolutely use standard cocoa powder, but please be aware that it will not yield the rich dark colour as depicted with my cake. Enjoy! Xo

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  6. FINALLY! Someone says it like it is! My daughter's classmate had a party scheduled last year and she had to chase almost all of them down. She was so annoyed in the end that she cancelled it and they went to NYC for the weekend instead. She probably spend less that weekend than if they had the party!!

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    1. What a great idea! I will bank that for next time. I would prefer a trip to NYC over planning a birthday party ANYDAY! Xo

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  7. I would like to say that first THe glaze on this cake is luscious and second your words are right on!!!!! <3

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  8. That cake looks delicious.

    And that's one good thing about having no kids and no friends - no one to invite anywhere and deal with the absolute lack of common courtesy out there. Though, I certainly see that missing courtesy pretty much every where else, so it's definitely become a lost art.

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    1. That is definitely one way to look at it! It's totally dying and it's so sad. Courtesy costs nothing and buys everything.

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  9. Yep. Common courtesy is totally a dying art. I'm a barista in a very busy coffeehouse and I see the lack of it everyday. This cake would fly off the shelf at work. Paired with a nice cup of coffee would be heaven!

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    1. What a sweet thing to say! Thank you, Chelsea! Xo

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  10. If this didn't resonate with me to a tee! You are so right you know. How hard is it to RSVP? Nice cake too!

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  11. Great post! It was so sad to see how upset your child was about having to limit their guests, only to have party crashers come along. I see my daughter deal with these no-response for her children's birthday parties. But sad to say, it's not anything new, although it looks like it's getting worse. For decades (OMG, did I just say decades?!?) I've noticed that a certain percentage of people I invite to parties, etc. simply don't respond, even with the RSVP. I've even stopped using the RSVP and just put in a plain English request that people let me know if they're coming or not so I know how much food to prepare. Still an issue. Yes, people occasionally forget. But I do notice when it's the same ones time after time, and adjust my list accordingly.

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    1. It's so frustrating, isn't it Marlene? I've started to put REGRETS ONLY on the invites. I'll assume you're attending until you tell me otherwise. I'm sure I'll eventually have plenty to say with that as well, so watch this space......Xo

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  12. OMG I've died and gone to Heaven. What a gorgeous cake, I'm drooling a little, sorry.

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  13. gahhh I'm 1000% with you on RSVP's! It drives me crazy when people don't respond! But this bundt looks like it would drive me crazy in the best most delicious way-so chocolatey!

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  14. I feel this needs to be photocopied and slipped into every invitation written from this point forward. When my sister got married, she was so stressed chasing down those that didn't respond. I swore when I got married, that would not happen. I tend to tell those like it is because I have no tolerance for rudeness!! lol Family, friend, or otherwise, if my event is not important enough for someone to reply back to, I will make sure they know how I feel!! I hope you get the courage to do the same to their face!! <3<3<3

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